Comparison

Well, I'm done. I keep looking at the wonderful things being posted across the way. Their succession, the liveliness and the simplicity in the realm of awesome is too much to bare. How am I to compete? If you were to give me the choice between a novel and a graphic novel, I (even as a writer) would snatch that comic book so fast it wouldn't look like I moved at all.

I feel silly trying to keep up with him. I feel like Ryan Stiles in those Fisherprice commercials. I'm a big goofy guy that tries to maintain the attention of his audience in a black and white environment and style (i.e. my writings). Ultimately they choose to ignore me and focus their attention on something visually appealing. I attempt to inform them of the ludicrousness of the world and actions that they must take to ensure a brighter future whilst they hammer away on a shiny piece of plastic.



I feel that like Ryan, I must give up my futile pursuits and follow suit in order to maintain an audience.

So...

OMFG!! LOL DiS rocKS! OMGWTFBBQ Chainsaws!!! LOLOLOL!

WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

Yarr

Heh... you know me so I don't really have to say anything...

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2286743,00.asp

Dialogue

I pondered today, what dialogue makes for believable drama. Often I find it hard to write what would be easier explained using a video camera or illustration. Then it occurred to me that the essence of drama is getting your audience to focus on it. Sometimes it seems that you have to “tell” the audience that they should feel scared, upset, angry, etc…

Everyday in my college English classes I had to hear about it… “show don’t tell.” Well, I was often perplexed by the meaning of that phrase. I drew my own theory that writing needs to be a little of both. Words like angry, miserable and lustful were created to illustrate a character without going into long winded detail about his/her inner workings.

“Keep it short and sweet” was also something I had heard all too often. Hypocritical academia, “be long winded but keep it short!”

All that aside, I looked for similarity in writing, mainly through screenplays and movies themselves. I have found that there is one word that both shows and tells, is short yet often elongated. The word is “NO.”

It is the word that ends things, shows fear, warning, anger, and misery. It calls out to the audience.



It is sometimes funny too.

My high school biology teacher (who hated my guts) had tried to the best of her ability to describe why we laugh. She had said that we as animals have metaphorical “yes” and “no” buttons in our head. When we see something we like or want to happen, the “yes” button is pressed and gives us satisfaction, love, and euphoria. When we see something that we disagree with or despise, the “no” button is pressed to give us fear, doubt, hate, and pain. We laugh when both are pressed at the same time. For instance, we always laugh at things that are stupid and clumsy because we feel both sorry for the fact that they are hurt or inept and we feel good that someone is dumber than we are and that their pain isn’t ours. Best examples, slipping on a banana peel and a pie in the face.

Think about everything you have laughed at and you will understand what I mean.

Classification

Imaginary e-mail correspondent Suzie writes:
“Are you a nerd?”
-Suzie

Suzie:

Classification is an ugly business. It often tears out the truly inspirational and creative aspects of our lives and wills us to form a collective. However, classification is relatively easy now a days as society stretches to achieve black and white status and ultimately eliminate the gray area that they fear. Unfortunately for them, I feel the need to ponder their good and evil hold on reality with this…

I, an age 15-30 Male demographic, love electronic interactive simulations. I regularly read about technological advances and aspire to aid in the creation of them in the future. I am a near transparent pale, dress in plaid with work-boots and have obsessions with the works of George Lucas, books and animated entertainment. I eat junk foods and look to the internet for comfort, clarity and calamity.

Classification: Nerd, Spaz, Dork

However…

Being indoors for long amounts of time causes my muscles to become listless and painful, my head to become light and my attention to drift. Despite the amount of joy I receive from playing my games, I always feel that I could be doing something better and force myself -ineffectively- to multi-task.

I am excellent at all sports except for ice hockey and basketball (I guess that makes me good at Polo and Mud wrestling then). Sunlight inexplicably strengthens me. My farm land upbringing has shown me the Zen qualities of a hard day of physical labor. I am not afraid of girls. I know how to fight as well as argue. I drink beer. I am not afraid of crowds and enjoy partying.

Classification: Average Joe, Jock

Originality stems from combination and is not original in the least.

Cool + Nerd = Dork
Goth + Nerd = Emo
Goth + Cool = Raver
Band Nerd + Jock = Marching Band
Spaz + Cool = Cheerleader
Cheerleader + Jock = Parents
Cool + Band Nerd = Shirtless guitar wielding douche playing “Time of Your Life” in the middle of the quad surrounded by bikini clad chicks.

An example of my combination…

Setting: Second floor apartment towards the end of a 24 hour Timesplitters: Future Perfect and Halo 2 marithon…

Travis: It’s a really nice day.
Bob and Jim (lazily): Yeah.
Travis: We should go outside.
Bob and Jim (lazily): Yeah.

Five minutes later…

Setting: Second floor balcony towards the end of a 24 hour Timesplitters:Future Perfect and Halo 2 marithon…

Announcer: “GAME.”
Jim: Bob… you sniping bastard.
Travis: This is much better.
Bob and Jim (lazily): Yeah.
Freshman: Hey are you guys playing Halo? Can I come up and play?
Bob, Jim and Travis: Fawk off!
Bob: Sheetz run!

So to answer your question Suzie, I, in the past, have classified myself as: nerd, goth, metal, hardcore and dork. Now a days I would consider myself “Grunge” as it pertains to my music preferences, dress style, attitude and demeanor. However, classification is the last refuge of a confused adolescent trying to force their way into a clique in order to prolong painful realization in exchange for short term acceptance and meaning.

UPDATE:

(Updated, to the best of my ability, into proper English)

“If its for adolescent’s why are you taking the time to write this out if you are old you jerk?”
-Suzie

Because I look to pass down hard earned knowledge to those younger than I in an attempt to curtail their long journey of belonging and exploration of existence.

You doo doo head.

Online

So… I created an HTML web-page (the standard for the graphic program challenged writer) and it looks seven shades of terrible. It would be acceptable if I were to be uploading to some archaic modem age internet. Now I didn’t put graphics in because I don’t even have a site to upload to and as I had mentioned… “graphic program challenged.” I am not going to rip off someone else in order to fake being creative. That’s what links are for, creativity by association.

Time to get that Word Art generator working.

I am forced to learn the intricacies of Flash for not only my use in website building, but also for the awesome projects I am currently working on. I will hand draw every frame if I have to! I need a web presence that is dynamic and enviable. I want the Albino Eyelash Composition and We Are Bad Luck to spread like a malignant tumor across the internet.

Absurd

Everyday now, I read a little more about Japan, Nihongo ga scoche wakarimas (roll over for translation), but everyday I question why.

Ever since the economic bubble burst in the 80's, Japan has changed its image from one of extreme and shrewd business practices to the land of cutesy poo fairytales that American kids will eat up like it was going out of style.

Well, we are all aware of how awesome the Japanese are in the field of technology and entertainment, but I am pretty sure that they will be the creators of AI and destroy us all. Because they buy their parts cheap from third world countries, they break easily. However, if they create AI using these parts, not only will it become "self aware" faster, but it will already be programed with a taste for human blood.

How is it that Japan has turned from militaristic shoguns to Pokemon? Because their economy is so in the toilet, they push to excel at the mundane . Look at their toilets...

Thats not MUNDANE!

It seems kids are pushed to extremes by their parents in order to rise to the occasion during a talent competition or game show. Three quarters of the viral videos and youtube shorts I see are about a young Japanese kid playing video games, instruments, break dancing and all sort of mundane things with incredible accuracy, efficiency and skill.

Not only children, but adults in Japan seem to have too much free time as they have perfected the mirror.

Contract

It is official. I am now the IT representative at my parent's company, J.L. Coates Electric. I find it funny that someone like me who has relied only on the computer training of his computer science college roommate to this point is now given the authority over a whole company’s networking, support and purchasing. Right now I am going over what large format printer we need for blueprints. After that I have to set up a network and wireless network for a small business, something I haven’t really done before as this is going to require a server. Yikes. Any suggestions, feel free to throw them my way.

Nifty.

I know its for the folks, but I am doing a lot of good here for them. They (really my father) are so computer illiterate that I find myself always starting from the beginning. The hardest thing is convincing them that the internet isn’t just a place for pedophiles and hackers. They seem supremely paranoid about Homeland security, hackers, identity thieves and viruses. They told me my blog here was dark and scary and that I should be worried about it. I just laughed. They are like the Howard Hughes of computer use. However, when my son is trying to explain how brain implants and quantum computers work, I will have the same inability to understand without getting fearful or paranoid.

Things are getting better. Visited the old Fish and Booze for a few rounds with the buds. I was getting $3 black label all night and the beer was extra yummy. I missed the guys, I really did, its good to be hanging out with them again.

I’m writing again…stay tuned for some cool stuff, it’s on its way. The Albino Eyelash is now working with my good pseudo brother Travis and his Bad Luck Inc in creating some really cool things. Check it out and make sure you buy a tee shirt and buttons!

Some of this cool stuff is like this...

Absent

I missed out on my favorite holiday this year... doesn't mean I'm not going to celebrate it when I get the chance. Now Danny Boy isn't really Irish at all... it was written by an Englishman who never set foot on the Emerald Isle. Also, it doesn't represent St. Patrick's day at all as it is extremely depressing (which is why people sing it at funerals). I agree with some people when it comes to having a good time.

Muppets make everything better though...can't argue that.

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