Sunday, September 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Challenge Accepted
Write a fictional story… without guns, death, physical sex, the supernatural, historical figures, or alternate universes.
“My name’s Paul.” He to get that much through the lump in his throat.
“Stephanie.”
“Nice to meet you”, he said extending a hand shakily. Pretty woman or not, one must not be impolite he thought. A smile cracked across from him, although at this point she could have just been trying to be equally polite. Politeness was all it was, he fully knew her name from the nameplate on the end of her cubicle wall. Every day, if he could, he would make his way to the art department just to catch a glimpse of her. Not that he was stalking her. Not at all, never. It was just a reminder…that she was there…and that she was beautiful.
Her weight shifted onto her other leg, after all the conversation had been going on for some time. Fifty floors justified the useless balloon juice spread out there as if it was the way “normal” people spoke to each other, your usual faux pas about the weather and work. New scenarios spattered through his mind, but like the computers he’d been working on, processing power was too low. He was hung up on compatibility. The knickknacks on her desk, the busted black Jetta with all those bumper stickers, the music on her headphones when she walked past the IT department; she probably hung out with awesome artistic friends, made trips frequently to the city…an adventurous life…
“I like your shoes” she said. The confidence in her voice put him at unease. Paul quickly managed to notice that she was wearing the same Chuck Taylors. “How did I miss that?” he thought. Again, compatibility. Following an awkward and panicky laugh he blundered “Psh, yeah… I just…you know.” He broke eye contact as quickly as he could, looked at his shoes, remembered that was what the conversation was about and dashed his gaze upon the other side of the elevator. He saw in the reflection of the brass walls, that her reaction was the same as his. Compatibility…
The awkwardness could have only been broken by the buzz of the cell phone in her messenger bag. She quickly stabbed into the bag for it and pulled it out with a jingle of change. A small figurine of Japanese origin hung from the antenna. She scrolled through texts and let out a personal giggle. Devastating grief came over Paul and negativity reined. “It’s probably her boyfriend.” He unwisely leaned over and violated privacy protocols. He managed to catch a glimpse at the screen and felt a wave of relief suspended the grief. “Just a text from a girl friend” he assured himself. He stealthily shifted himself to avoid being caught.
Floors were flying by, he only had a few moments to make a move. “Kiss her? No. Bring something else to talk about? No time. Panic? Panic.” His mind franticly fumbled while his hands played with the keys in his pocket out of nervousness. “Listen, I…” ding went the elevator and a wave of sunlight poured in. Lobby. She adjusted the bag on her shoulder and made for the exit still scrolling through her phone. He dashed after her valiantly. “Want to grab lunch tomorrow?” He threw like a Hail Mary.
“Sure, but I usually bring my own lunch.”
“It will be on me” such confidence shooting through him, he felt strength like no other.
“Sure” she repeated with a smile “See you then.”
He sealed the contract with a wave and a suppressed grin. Gloom and uncertainty were problems for another. His life enlightened, despite the fact his internship ended that afternoon.
Little did he know she was a werewolf with an Uzi sent from the future to correct the mistakes of the past and… damn it. As an aside, I actually flipped a coin to decide if it was a happy or sad ending.
“My name’s Paul.” He to get that much through the lump in his throat.
“Stephanie.”
“Nice to meet you”, he said extending a hand shakily. Pretty woman or not, one must not be impolite he thought. A smile cracked across from him, although at this point she could have just been trying to be equally polite. Politeness was all it was, he fully knew her name from the nameplate on the end of her cubicle wall. Every day, if he could, he would make his way to the art department just to catch a glimpse of her. Not that he was stalking her. Not at all, never. It was just a reminder…that she was there…and that she was beautiful.
Her weight shifted onto her other leg, after all the conversation had been going on for some time. Fifty floors justified the useless balloon juice spread out there as if it was the way “normal” people spoke to each other, your usual faux pas about the weather and work. New scenarios spattered through his mind, but like the computers he’d been working on, processing power was too low. He was hung up on compatibility. The knickknacks on her desk, the busted black Jetta with all those bumper stickers, the music on her headphones when she walked past the IT department; she probably hung out with awesome artistic friends, made trips frequently to the city…an adventurous life…
“I like your shoes” she said. The confidence in her voice put him at unease. Paul quickly managed to notice that she was wearing the same Chuck Taylors. “How did I miss that?” he thought. Again, compatibility. Following an awkward and panicky laugh he blundered “Psh, yeah… I just…you know.” He broke eye contact as quickly as he could, looked at his shoes, remembered that was what the conversation was about and dashed his gaze upon the other side of the elevator. He saw in the reflection of the brass walls, that her reaction was the same as his. Compatibility…
The awkwardness could have only been broken by the buzz of the cell phone in her messenger bag. She quickly stabbed into the bag for it and pulled it out with a jingle of change. A small figurine of Japanese origin hung from the antenna. She scrolled through texts and let out a personal giggle. Devastating grief came over Paul and negativity reined. “It’s probably her boyfriend.” He unwisely leaned over and violated privacy protocols. He managed to catch a glimpse at the screen and felt a wave of relief suspended the grief. “Just a text from a girl friend” he assured himself. He stealthily shifted himself to avoid being caught.
Floors were flying by, he only had a few moments to make a move. “Kiss her? No. Bring something else to talk about? No time. Panic? Panic.” His mind franticly fumbled while his hands played with the keys in his pocket out of nervousness. “Listen, I…” ding went the elevator and a wave of sunlight poured in. Lobby. She adjusted the bag on her shoulder and made for the exit still scrolling through her phone. He dashed after her valiantly. “Want to grab lunch tomorrow?” He threw like a Hail Mary.
“Sure, but I usually bring my own lunch.”
“It will be on me” such confidence shooting through him, he felt strength like no other.
“Sure” she repeated with a smile “See you then.”
He sealed the contract with a wave and a suppressed grin. Gloom and uncertainty were problems for another. His life enlightened, despite the fact his internship ended that afternoon.
Little did he know she was a werewolf with an Uzi sent from the future to correct the mistakes of the past and… damn it. As an aside, I actually flipped a coin to decide if it was a happy or sad ending.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Boredom Poems
I requested that a few friends make poem requests to end my relentless stagnation. I am actually surprised that it made me write. All in all, I feel that they are pretty good for an hour or so's worth of effort.
Jon requested an Epic Poem about himself being a super hero. I did not think that he realized that epic poems can be several books long... so here is a "snippet."
Jon requested an Epic Poem about himself being a super hero. I did not think that he realized that epic poems can be several books long... so here is a "snippet."
A story so bold is this
The greatest antihero of our time
So fine a lady she was
Walking home that night
The devil came swooping
Grave was her plight
Hands reach to silence
To an echo, her scream
Then, there she was
Fallen to his scheme
Smoke entered the alley
All at once, a terrible jolt
The eyes of a champion
Back lit with a bolt
His cape would flutter abruptly
His leap, uncompromised
The pain was intense
The jaw was prized
Struck and dazed he stumbled
A quick left struck his nose
He was left grasping blindly
Eyes watering he rose
A hasty retreat was quickly made
The woman lies dead
She should have known better
Where evil will tread
He escapes into the night
Following leads on the other
Always apathetic
Strike before he finds another.
The greatest antihero of our time
So fine a lady she was
Walking home that night
The devil came swooping
Grave was her plight
Hands reach to silence
To an echo, her scream
Then, there she was
Fallen to his scheme
Smoke entered the alley
All at once, a terrible jolt
The eyes of a champion
Back lit with a bolt
His cape would flutter abruptly
His leap, uncompromised
The pain was intense
The jaw was prized
Struck and dazed he stumbled
A quick left struck his nose
He was left grasping blindly
Eyes watering he rose
A hasty retreat was quickly made
The woman lies dead
She should have known better
Where evil will tread
He escapes into the night
Following leads on the other
Always apathetic
Strike before he finds another.
Tiph requested a Ballad about "Monsters Eating Peanut Butter." I couldn't resist...
Love, such a love,
What is this thing I crave?
Peanut butter, peanut butter
A taste, just a taste,
So torturous I was ripped from the fey
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Meh-ow, I cry Meh-ow,
Your frightened face holds no sway
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Find, oh please find,
The courage to extend a hand
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Would you grant me this,
Small penance of trust?
Find it in your heart
To end my ravenous lust.
Reach out with your spoon,
Drop a speck,
And see it through!
A terrible fiend to some
A friend till the end
Can I live in your shoe?
Quiet too much quiet
How awkward is this moment
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Eyes, our eyes
They cannot separate
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Would you grant me this,
Small penance of trust?
Find it in your heart
To end my ravenous lust.
Reach out with your spoon,
Drop a speck,
And see it through!
By simply feeding me
You’re stuck with a friend.
Can I live in your shoe?
Can I live in your shoe?
Can I live in your shoe?
I need more food.
Can I live in your shoe?
I’ll live in your shoe.
What is this thing I crave?
Peanut butter, peanut butter
A taste, just a taste,
So torturous I was ripped from the fey
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Meh-ow, I cry Meh-ow,
Your frightened face holds no sway
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Find, oh please find,
The courage to extend a hand
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Would you grant me this,
Small penance of trust?
Find it in your heart
To end my ravenous lust.
Reach out with your spoon,
Drop a speck,
And see it through!
A terrible fiend to some
A friend till the end
Can I live in your shoe?
Quiet too much quiet
How awkward is this moment
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Eyes, our eyes
They cannot separate
Peanut butter, peanut butter
Would you grant me this,
Small penance of trust?
Find it in your heart
To end my ravenous lust.
Reach out with your spoon,
Drop a speck,
And see it through!
By simply feeding me
You’re stuck with a friend.
Can I live in your shoe?
Can I live in your shoe?
Can I live in your shoe?
I need more food.
Can I live in your shoe?
I’ll live in your shoe.
Pawl wanted a Blank Verse regarding Quantum Entanglement. Heh, I liked this one.
Comprised in this chaos of particles,
Now entwined, betwixt the various states,
Pulled forth from the dimensional ether,
I am Alpha and I am Omega,
From these two I am indistinguishable,
Argue if you must, a labor of space,
For in philosophy, a paradox.
Now entwined, betwixt the various states,
Pulled forth from the dimensional ether,
I am Alpha and I am Omega,
From these two I am indistinguishable,
Argue if you must, a labor of space,
For in philosophy, a paradox.
Monday, September 20, 2010
J-Pop Summit Festival 2010
Pawl and I were able to make it to Japantown by 2:30, thus just missing the cosplay contest by a few minutes. We managed to see a few girls walking by in Fashionista and Gothic styles, but none dressed as characters, a little disappointing I know. We worked our way around the area which wasn't too crowded. We found the Bazaar Bizarre where local artists had put their knicknacks up for sale, not too many of them were Japanese, but to each their own.
Behind the stage, they featured Bay grafitti artist
Estria doing a live painting which was then silently auctioned off. I got a picture of it about half way through.They started a Pocky eating contest not but a few moments after we arrived, however it seemed that we were too late to enter. Regardless, the flamboyant judge was panning for so much time the contestants were giving him lip, it was quite amusing.
Pawl managed to test some of the new Sega games coming out. Needless to say Sonic was the theme. Ironically the independantly built 2-D Sonic made for download on the 360 and PS3 was far superior to the 3-D Sonic that was made for the Wii. The 2-D featured angled pixels that invoked a sense of 3-D whilst retaining the 2-D gameplay that we all have come to love. The Wii version on the other hand was flashy, however seemed to be more about pressing the right buttons at the right time, if not pressing ANY at all, it was like watching a movie that may give you a seizure.
From there we caught an adorable song and dance entitled the Harajuku Kawaii Experince by 6% Doki Doki. I have to say I enjoy Japanese electronic music to an extent. They feature great rhythms and driving beats, but half way through the song they drop it all and start playing a different song before dropping that and bringing back the original song. I find it confusing and just a bit depressing. I managed to see one girl portraying Tsunade from Naruto, she was cute and buxom enough to portray the character, but my suspension of disbelief was pierced by her hairy, unshaven legs :(.We took a break by going inside the New People building which we had visited the previous day. Posters were everywhere warning us that this was a video filming zone and that we could be filmed at any moment. However we only saw one camera and it was on its way to the top floor. Once we had entered we found a HUGE line heading up the stairs. Like typical bad asses, we walked right by the entire line heading for the art exhibit on the top floor. Turns out that the line was for Mori Chack, the creator of Gloomy Bear, and he was doing an autograph secession. I am more than familiar with his work, but I was unwilling to stand in a line for hours and spend the little money I have for an autograph. I am just as easily stoked to see someone like that.
We made our way upstairs to the art exhibit that was closed off to us the previous day. Ken Hamazaki's Greatful Red was a mixture of the Greatful Dead jam band, modern Japanese and the color red. Everything red, from Coke cans, to Budweiser to bacon. The exhibit was much better than most modern art and featured had drawn illustrations that could be taken down for a small donation. Some pieces were interactive, like a magnet board on which you had to place the magnets in order to stop a timer on an opposing wall. There was a desk in the corner of the room where a man in a business suit sat "protecting" the exhibits. Once he had moved out from behind the desk, Pawl's curious nature got the best of him. He moved around the desk and found a small opening in the wall. He bent down and looked through it and exclaimed "What is this!?" to which I heard someone snapping at him in Japanese. He quickly rose from his knee with the greatest look on his face. "Did you find Narnia?"I asked jokingly. He raved about a small bald Japanese man in a red suit with his face painted white sitting in a room with light displays going on all around him. I told him he was probably looking at the artist, I could tell the experience was shocking to him. I felt smart not looking. There was no photography allowed so I couldn't take any pictures.
Afterward we made our way back onto the street and I bought us some chicken teriyaki wraps and we sat and enjoyed the sun for a few moments before heading into the first section of the Japantown Center Mall. Not much was there and we left.
Outside we heard good tunes and made our way to the stage. The band Excuses for Skipping was playing their set. They had a smooth grunge/indy sound that Pawl and I quickly picked up on. They told us we could catch them again at the Bring Your Own Queer event at Golden Gate Park. Once their set was done we explored the remaining part of the mall where Pawl commented "It does my heart good to kids doing the Kamehameha wave."
Inside we found several shops that pander to the child in me that must have the most unnecessary things, luckily I was able to avoid him for the time being. Although, I found the cutest Soba shop on the bridge between malls that I will have to visit someday.
After that we were about finished and the festival was closing down. It was a short walk and a bus to catch and we made our way to Pawl's loft where I got him addicted to Doctor Who before I caught the Cal-train home.
San Francisco Part 1
I wanted to make post #50 something special so I waited until I did something special. Also it is in two parts, I can do that, it is my blog...
Friday, I had visited San Francisco for the first time and hung out with my long time friend Pawl who goes to the Academy of Art University. I got off the Cal-train at the depot and walked toward Market Street. Little did I know I was passing through the "Tenderloin" district, where I was accosted by a homeless person selling unwanted hugs for a dollar. After a quick stop at 7-11 for some Gatorade and hand sanitizer (my skin crawled all day), I made my way to the Alexander Book Company to await Pawl. Whilst waiting outside, Ian McConville walked by me, at least I thought it was him. I was even more sure the second time as he passed me again with lunch in his hand. I felt like talking to him, but his ear-buds were blasting away and he was in the zone.
I found Pawl and we got some food. My appearance was enough to mistake me for a student so I was able to ride the Academy buses for free. We walked though the Tenderloin district again making our way to Folsom Street where we had an "east coast" giggle at the stores and bars that inhabit that part of town. We found fliers for the Folsom Street Fair and felt that we may need to do that too.
We then found ourselves on Haight Street, where the hipster artsy people live. We found a good comic store and a gaming shop; the record store Pawl wanted to visit felt like closing four hours early.
We ended our trip in Japantown, the nicest part of town I had seen so far. Signs were everywhere for a J-Pop festival that started the next day... I felt the need to come back.
Friday, I had visited San Francisco for the first time and hung out with my long time friend Pawl who goes to the Academy of Art University. I got off the Cal-train at the depot and walked toward Market Street. Little did I know I was passing through the "Tenderloin" district, where I was accosted by a homeless person selling unwanted hugs for a dollar. After a quick stop at 7-11 for some Gatorade and hand sanitizer (my skin crawled all day), I made my way to the Alexander Book Company to await Pawl. Whilst waiting outside, Ian McConville walked by me, at least I thought it was him. I was even more sure the second time as he passed me again with lunch in his hand. I felt like talking to him, but his ear-buds were blasting away and he was in the zone.
I found Pawl and we got some food. My appearance was enough to mistake me for a student so I was able to ride the Academy buses for free. We walked though the Tenderloin district again making our way to Folsom Street where we had an "east coast" giggle at the stores and bars that inhabit that part of town. We found fliers for the Folsom Street Fair and felt that we may need to do that too.
We then found ourselves on Haight Street, where the hipster artsy people live. We found a good comic store and a gaming shop; the record store Pawl wanted to visit felt like closing four hours early.
We ended our trip in Japantown, the nicest part of town I had seen so far. Signs were everywhere for a J-Pop festival that started the next day... I felt the need to come back.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
In California At Last
The trip may be over for Brice, but my adventure continues. For me, I want nothing more to see the sun set into the Pacific Ocean (or at this point the ocean in general). It does make it rather difficult to do seeing as how I do not have a vehicle in any shape or form.
I am glad those of you who saw the pictures posted on Facebook enjoyed them. We had a blast and managed not to kill each other.
I have taken up residence in a storage shed that hangs on the Brice's deck. It is cozy and humble and I have the piece of mind of a small amount of privacy that I do so often require. There is room enough for my chest of clothing and some bedding. I even managed to get my computer up and running by installing a power outlet in the light fixture. "Black and white make a light." Thanks dad!
The computer however is on its last leg. It barely survived the movers and the trip out here. A gig of RAM has been fried and the second partition on my hard drive is corrupted and is reading redundancy errors. I worry if I reformat it, the hard drive itself will become totally corrupted, so I'll just leave it alone for now. I'm just glad I got it working.
My BB Storm is also broken, it has a crack along the bottom of the screen and prevented me from doing too many things with mobile Facebook. All these things can be rectified as soon as I find steady employment.
Until next time, wish me luck!
I am glad those of you who saw the pictures posted on Facebook enjoyed them. We had a blast and managed not to kill each other.
I have taken up residence in a storage shed that hangs on the Brice's deck. It is cozy and humble and I have the piece of mind of a small amount of privacy that I do so often require. There is room enough for my chest of clothing and some bedding. I even managed to get my computer up and running by installing a power outlet in the light fixture. "Black and white make a light." Thanks dad!
The computer however is on its last leg. It barely survived the movers and the trip out here. A gig of RAM has been fried and the second partition on my hard drive is corrupted and is reading redundancy errors. I worry if I reformat it, the hard drive itself will become totally corrupted, so I'll just leave it alone for now. I'm just glad I got it working.
My BB Storm is also broken, it has a crack along the bottom of the screen and prevented me from doing too many things with mobile Facebook. All these things can be rectified as soon as I find steady employment.
Until next time, wish me luck!
On the Road
I have been guest blogging on my friend's blog as we have trekked across the US from Hackettstown area, New Jersey to Sunnyvale, California. Along the way we experienced many great things this nation has to offer including the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone National Park, and several continental breakfasts of several different varieties... good lord I am going to miss Taylor Ham.
Check it out and send us your love.
http://2-guys-1-car.blogspot.com/
Check it out and send us your love.
http://2-guys-1-car.blogspot.com/
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Rifftrax: Reefer Madness
Recently, I went with my good friend Katie and her friends to the Fathom Event’s presentation of Rifftrax: Reefer Madness Live. After seeing both of their live events- Plan 9 From Outerspace and Rifftrax: Christmas Special- I expected teary eyed hilarity to ensue. Being a long time fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax in general, I believe these live events are a fantastic way to bring the culture together in a more social and less digital interaction. This performance I felt very pleased and then thoroughly disappointed.
Because Reefer Madness is not long enough to be a feature film, Michael, Bill and Kevin added a few shorts to the beginning to keep you in the seat for the full two hours. The shorts were beyond hilarious; I often felt the need to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep other patrons from mistaking me as a hysteric. I never thought I could be so entertained by a PSA on grass’s artistic uses.
Once the PSA of the evening had finally come on, the mood switched to one of confusion with smatterings of forced laughter. I wondered during the film if I had exhausted myself and was all laughed out, however I found that not too many others were laughing either. The jokes were a bit stale and related specifically to subjects that went over the head of the demographic. Is it that they believed stoner comedy has some way equated itself with observational humor? At the end they even said that they read some jokes that were submitted by the audience. I don’t know what they were smoking. *bud um tss*
Regardless, I felt no reason to tear down the walls and scream to the world about it. I just remember leaving the theater feeling a bit strange, like seeing a movie that had a bland, vague ending.
I still look forward with indescribable anticipation for the Halloween special, the Vincent Price version of House on Haunted Hill. Two minutes laughing the way they make me laugh is well worth the price of full admission.
Because Reefer Madness is not long enough to be a feature film, Michael, Bill and Kevin added a few shorts to the beginning to keep you in the seat for the full two hours. The shorts were beyond hilarious; I often felt the need to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep other patrons from mistaking me as a hysteric. I never thought I could be so entertained by a PSA on grass’s artistic uses.
Once the PSA of the evening had finally come on, the mood switched to one of confusion with smatterings of forced laughter. I wondered during the film if I had exhausted myself and was all laughed out, however I found that not too many others were laughing either. The jokes were a bit stale and related specifically to subjects that went over the head of the demographic. Is it that they believed stoner comedy has some way equated itself with observational humor? At the end they even said that they read some jokes that were submitted by the audience. I don’t know what they were smoking. *bud um tss*
Regardless, I felt no reason to tear down the walls and scream to the world about it. I just remember leaving the theater feeling a bit strange, like seeing a movie that had a bland, vague ending.
I still look forward with indescribable anticipation for the Halloween special, the Vincent Price version of House on Haunted Hill. Two minutes laughing the way they make me laugh is well worth the price of full admission.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Made My Day
My father just made my day.
We were watching an episode of Cash Cab and betting on whether a group of girls would be booted. The final question ( and nail in the coffin) pertained to Kurt Vonnegut and more to the point the answer was his novel, Slaughter House Five.
My father insists that no girl would read a book called "Slaughter House Five" and that is why they got it wrong. I said "No, it was a fair question because Vonnegut was one of the most important writers of the twentieth century...wait... I'm not having a conversation about literature with you."
He continued to insist that the title was the reason for the girls ejection. "Do you even know what the book is about? Do you even know who Kurt Vonnegut is?"
"Yeah," He said, "Rodney introduced me to him."
We laughed. "Well have you read anything of his?"
"I know he wrote Fahrenheit 451!"
"That was Ray Bradbury."
"Eh, what-do-I-know?"
We were watching an episode of Cash Cab and betting on whether a group of girls would be booted. The final question ( and nail in the coffin) pertained to Kurt Vonnegut and more to the point the answer was his novel, Slaughter House Five.
My father insists that no girl would read a book called "Slaughter House Five" and that is why they got it wrong. I said "No, it was a fair question because Vonnegut was one of the most important writers of the twentieth century...wait... I'm not having a conversation about literature with you."
He continued to insist that the title was the reason for the girls ejection. "Do you even know what the book is about? Do you even know who Kurt Vonnegut is?"
"Yeah," He said, "Rodney introduced me to him."
We laughed. "Well have you read anything of his?"
"I know he wrote Fahrenheit 451!"
"That was Ray Bradbury."
"Eh, what-do-I-know?"
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Freedom Train
I hear that freedom train a commin’ round the bend…
New Job!
New outlook!
New future!
New…book!
After much anticipation my copy of the Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The
Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need had finally arrived…..and then I finished it. I guess that is the problem with manga…you can get through it very quickly.
I was genuinely surprised to see the entire book was in manga. I would have figured that it would have been more like a career strategy guide with bits of manga scattered throughout to keep our generation’s 22 second attention spans in check.
By no means was it a short book, concise is a better word, its length was appropriate and it kept me interested throughout. The lessons learned were not something that needed to be memorized, highlighted or crammed; they existed merely to be an introspective and retrospective method of achieving personal and professional zen. It’s six lessons are well thought out and inspire actions based on achievements in a career and happiness.
Stop by the artist’s blog to check out some nifty stuff.
Edit: I just noticed the shopped computer behind him has a missing corner. Ha!
New Job!
New outlook!
New future!
New…book!
After much anticipation my copy of the Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The
Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need had finally arrived…..and then I finished it. I guess that is the problem with manga…you can get through it very quickly.I was genuinely surprised to see the entire book was in manga. I would have figured that it would have been more like a career strategy guide with bits of manga scattered throughout to keep our generation’s 22 second attention spans in check.
By no means was it a short book, concise is a better word, its length was appropriate and it kept me interested throughout. The lessons learned were not something that needed to be memorized, highlighted or crammed; they existed merely to be an introspective and retrospective method of achieving personal and professional zen. It’s six lessons are well thought out and inspire actions based on achievements in a career and happiness.
Stop by the artist’s blog to check out some nifty stuff.
Edit: I just noticed the shopped computer behind him has a missing corner. Ha!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
New Dev Art Account
The new Deviant Art account is up as promised...
http://faolun.deviantart.com/
I posted things in it I put in my portfolio for school... tell me what you think.
Edit: I've also added a nifty new gadget that will show you recent works. Also clicking the eyelash pic will take you there as well.
http://faolun.deviantart.com/
I posted things in it I put in my portfolio for school... tell me what you think.
Edit: I've also added a nifty new gadget that will show you recent works. Also clicking the eyelash pic will take you there as well.
Cleaning House
I recently came back to the blog here. I made sure to eliminate all those pesky Youtube vids that I posted on here in the past. You know... the ones that had nothing to do with anything. If I feel like posting them, I will be posting them at the bottom of the post in the form of links as opposed to embedded windows (that is unless it is uniquely important to whatever I am talking about).
In new News...
- I've made an application to Kutztown University's Commercial Design department. I look to attend there in the fall.
- I'm going to attempt to make a new Deviant Art site for my new works; I'll post a link on here when I complete it.
- I've been running a Steam Punk 4th Edition Dungeons and Dragons campaign. My players have no healers or controllers, so if you want in, let me know.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Eve Online
Yet again I feel the need to explore various other avenues that would increase my chances of finding social outlets other than work or the occasional meeting with friends to play Resident Evil 5 or Arkham Horror. I enjoyed Star Wars Galaxies immensely, even after their lousy patches and failed promises. I lived for the space combat. Spotting the abundance of well placed ads in Eve Online's internet flood attacks, I signed up and downloaded their fourteen day trial.
I didn't need fourteen days, I needed three hours. I would have hung up sooner if the tutorial wasn't as long as it was. The game is loaded with more crap than a honeypot at Crystal Lake Campground. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend viewing Yahtzee's views of it. It isn't so much that it is a bad game, it just boring and I have no idea what to do to have fun in it. Once again I have found a game that relies on the nerd's best friend, math. If "x" is greater than "y", "x" will destroy "y" in 10 turns. I though I would be plugging in the joystick and going to town on larger ships, showing that the underdog has the skills to come out on top. Once again I have been denied the dust encrusted interface device that has helped me destroy more Star Destroyers than Rogue Squadron. I am left right clicking on a target and spinning around them like some drunken figure eight skating comet until I've shot enough autocannon to make them bleed fire. It's actually very lucky I won those two times, I never could tell how much (if any) damage I was taking.
I sit uncomfortably knowing that I spent all that time writing down and memorizing useless controls and facts about the game world. It is now a fully formed benign tumor of useless information that is inevitably going to keep me learning any newer and useful information.
Pros... I guess I could say the ships and objects were beautifully crafted and the music was great.
I didn't need fourteen days, I needed three hours. I would have hung up sooner if the tutorial wasn't as long as it was. The game is loaded with more crap than a honeypot at Crystal Lake Campground. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend viewing Yahtzee's views of it. It isn't so much that it is a bad game, it just boring and I have no idea what to do to have fun in it. Once again I have found a game that relies on the nerd's best friend, math. If "x" is greater than "y", "x" will destroy "y" in 10 turns. I though I would be plugging in the joystick and going to town on larger ships, showing that the underdog has the skills to come out on top. Once again I have been denied the dust encrusted interface device that has helped me destroy more Star Destroyers than Rogue Squadron. I am left right clicking on a target and spinning around them like some drunken figure eight skating comet until I've shot enough autocannon to make them bleed fire. It's actually very lucky I won those two times, I never could tell how much (if any) damage I was taking.
I sit uncomfortably knowing that I spent all that time writing down and memorizing useless controls and facts about the game world. It is now a fully formed benign tumor of useless information that is inevitably going to keep me learning any newer and useful information.
Pros... I guess I could say the ships and objects were beautifully crafted and the music was great.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Conficker Worm
Make sure you have a good free trial norton antivirus because tomorrow, April 1st, the Conficker worm is going to go through processes that make it less vulnerable. It will block attempts to remove it by making it impossible to install or download antivirus software or liveupdate.
It is set to invade a couple million PCs so make sure you are protected.
It is set to invade a couple million PCs so make sure you are protected.
rHETORICAL
I've lost it. I installed a program on my PC that mimics the Apple Dock. I love it, it has cleared up so much space and tricks me into believing I have some sort of Mac that plays PC games. Anywho...
I flipped around my old documents and found a ripe chestnut for your pleasure...
Those of you who ventured into deep composition related fields or classes will have to discuss rhetoric. Now the dictionary has it's own definition of rhetoric, however Prof. Mahoney of Kutztown University has his own idea of what it means... and thats what he thinks I think it means. We followed the text of John Ramage, but ultimately the class ended with us taking a rhetorical trip to a rhetorical place where rhetorical things happen to rhetorical you in rhetorical ways in order to get you to understand rhetoric, rhetorically speaking.
Sounds like fun right?! Well I made it fun...ENJOY!
_____________________________________________________________
I was traveling down the road and unbeknownst to me, a certain historical figure of importance decided to travel with me. “Ben Franklin! How did you get into my car?”
“Oh it’s quite simple my boy,” he said “I am here to show you the possibilities of non-abstract thought through the powers of rhetoric.”
“What?”
“You see, you may not know it but you’re on your way to a land of perils and undeniable hardships based on the intricacies of the English language.”
“Well in that case I think I have a hold on it, I am a collegiate writer you know.”
“Yes the powers of logic are strong in you and you may just make it out of this place with your wits intact”
“Well why are you here?”
“I am a familiar figure, a guide; I will keep you tethered to this plane of understanding.” “No I meant how you got in my car, you should be long dead.”
“Oh I’m not here, or am I, OOOHHH!” he said waving his hands in front of his face.
“Yes, you are.”
“That a boy. Keep your head."
Long down the desert road we came across a sign with words that constantly changed. I caught Ramberg, Rambluff, Ramville, and Ramage Lake maybe Ramapo. I didn’t bother asking why the town name kept changing because Franklin was too busy watching the lines fly by on the road like a puppy. I only thought it was strange that I never remembered there being a desert in New Jersey.
The horizon seemed endless. I thought that there was no actual town until I glanced out my driver side window. The buildings I saw were enormous and at first appeared dilapidated however, they seemed to get newer the longer down the road I went. I couldn’t see any buildings through my windshield, but Mr. Franklin reassured me into continue on down the road. “Pay no attention to these buildings, they don’t exist” he said.
“What?”
“They are the remains of the town that never exists.”
“You mean existed?”
“No.”
“ARRGH” I grumbled.
He then turned and looked to my rear-view mirror. I followed his eyes. Behind us was a wall of fire in front of a black void. I, still confused, decided that I had no time for useless questions that wouldn't be straightly answered by a long dead founding father.
We continued on endlessly until a wall came toward us. Faster and faster it came though I had never changed speed. I hit the brakes hard and the car came to a complete stop, yet the wall continued to come faster and faster towards us.
“What’s with the wall?” I asked.
“What wall?” said Franklin and it was gone. Before I had a moment to think I found myself getting out of the car in a daze.
“No don’t get out!” Ben shouted.
It was too late. Buildings shot out of the ground like underground missiles. I gazed up as the seemed to go on forever. Then the doors flung open and people, at least that was what I thought they were, came running out of the buildings screaming. They had no arms, ears, or eyes and their mouths were ridiculously disproportionately large to their heads. “Who are these schlomos?” I said to Franklin. “They are the serious people, unwilling to be changed of their ways by the truth, rhetoric and sarcasm of society.”
“Well why are they screaming?”
“Because they can still hear though their ears have been torn off.”
“Oh, well maybe they know why I’m here.”
“Excuse me!” I said as I grabbed one by the shoulder. The madness of the screaming stopped instantly. All of the disproportionate people were standing still. I swung the one I grabbed around. His eyes sockets began to fill and his eyes reformed, its arms grew back and he responded. “Yes?”
A mighty bolt of light struck the figure I held. He screamed in agony and twitched at my feet. His body exploded apart into thousands of pieces. Around me the lightning had affected several other beings who then screamed, twitched and exploded all the same. The remaining “people” ran back inside their buildings and they sunk back into the earth as fast as they rose.”
“What happened?”
“They heard you. They can no longer be serious if they hear what someone else has said.” “That’s bullshit.”
“No, that’s logical.”
“I’m serious and I don’t go ripping my parts off so I can remain that way!”
"You don't understand."
“No, that’s right I don’t understand.”
As I said that a book appeared before my eyes and stayed fixated there. I moved to look around it and it remained in front of my face. I tried walking away from it but it kept pace with me. Ben lifted his hands in encouragement to read it.
“I’m outta here” I said.
“Nope, you have to read it, there is no escape.” Franklin said.
“All this is doing is toying with me childishly. I want to know what’s going on but the questions are pointless and the answers are taunts.”
“That’s because not everything is what it seems. Look here…”
I grabbed the book and put it in my pocket and then turned to see three men standing in the center of an intersection. All of them were dressed as I was and staring into the sky. “Watch” said Franklin.
He approached and asked, “What’s the time?” One man looked at his watch. Another walked away into nothingness. The last looked at us puzzled until a snake crept from a hole in the asphalt on the ground before him. It leapt from the ground and slithered down the man’s throat without resistance. He fell to his knees. His eyes oozed from his face. He tore off his own ears and his mouth began to split along its edges. It grew to enormous size and he began gnawing at his shoulders in an attempt to remove his arms. “This is the foremost of your seriousness, what you would be like if you had retained all of the knowledge you already knew without having met anyone on earth.”
“K” I said.
“The first was your sensible side; he knows what time is and the proper etiquette to follow when he is asked for the time. He is the coalition between the rhetorical you and the serious you. He is similar to all beings.”
He continued, “The one that left was your rhetorical side, he went in search of thyme because he looks too deeply into the meaning of texts or it’s what he thought of first when I said time.”
“Alright…what was with the snake?”
“That was rhetoric itself. It forces its way into your mind and eats away at it.”
“You can accept it and live normally as both a serious and rhetorical person, accept it as all truth and fail to communicate or reject it and be forced to live in a nightmare world where you can not learn anything because you experience nothing.”
“I think I understand now” I said. “You need to understand how rhetoric works in order to determine how people understand you?”
“Correct” Franklin said. “So if you are a rhetorical person whom is also serious…”
“I can determine proper ways of communication to accomplish my tasks and all I need to do is understand this book” I said holding up the text that had appeared before me.
“Yes!”
“Great! Can I leave now?”
“Not yet, you need to wake up!”
“Oh ho ho, I’m dreaming!”
“No, those chips of metal in your Goldschlager were actually lead and not gold, you’re in a coma.”
_______________________________
He didn't like it, however most all the other students' pieces where just as wacky, so maybe I missed some of the underlying points.
I flipped around my old documents and found a ripe chestnut for your pleasure...
Those of you who ventured into deep composition related fields or classes will have to discuss rhetoric. Now the dictionary has it's own definition of rhetoric, however Prof. Mahoney of Kutztown University has his own idea of what it means... and thats what he thinks I think it means. We followed the text of John Ramage, but ultimately the class ended with us taking a rhetorical trip to a rhetorical place where rhetorical things happen to rhetorical you in rhetorical ways in order to get you to understand rhetoric, rhetorically speaking.
Sounds like fun right?! Well I made it fun...ENJOY!
_____________________________________________________________
I was traveling down the road and unbeknownst to me, a certain historical figure of importance decided to travel with me. “Ben Franklin! How did you get into my car?”
“Oh it’s quite simple my boy,” he said “I am here to show you the possibilities of non-abstract thought through the powers of rhetoric.”
“What?”
“You see, you may not know it but you’re on your way to a land of perils and undeniable hardships based on the intricacies of the English language.”
“Well in that case I think I have a hold on it, I am a collegiate writer you know.”
“Yes the powers of logic are strong in you and you may just make it out of this place with your wits intact”
“Well why are you here?”
“I am a familiar figure, a guide; I will keep you tethered to this plane of understanding.” “No I meant how you got in my car, you should be long dead.”
“Oh I’m not here, or am I, OOOHHH!” he said waving his hands in front of his face.
“Yes, you are.”
“That a boy. Keep your head."
Long down the desert road we came across a sign with words that constantly changed. I caught Ramberg, Rambluff, Ramville, and Ramage Lake maybe Ramapo. I didn’t bother asking why the town name kept changing because Franklin was too busy watching the lines fly by on the road like a puppy. I only thought it was strange that I never remembered there being a desert in New Jersey.
The horizon seemed endless. I thought that there was no actual town until I glanced out my driver side window. The buildings I saw were enormous and at first appeared dilapidated however, they seemed to get newer the longer down the road I went. I couldn’t see any buildings through my windshield, but Mr. Franklin reassured me into continue on down the road. “Pay no attention to these buildings, they don’t exist” he said.
“What?”
“They are the remains of the town that never exists.”
“You mean existed?”
“No.”
“ARRGH” I grumbled.
He then turned and looked to my rear-view mirror. I followed his eyes. Behind us was a wall of fire in front of a black void. I, still confused, decided that I had no time for useless questions that wouldn't be straightly answered by a long dead founding father.
We continued on endlessly until a wall came toward us. Faster and faster it came though I had never changed speed. I hit the brakes hard and the car came to a complete stop, yet the wall continued to come faster and faster towards us.
“What’s with the wall?” I asked.
“What wall?” said Franklin and it was gone. Before I had a moment to think I found myself getting out of the car in a daze.
“No don’t get out!” Ben shouted.
It was too late. Buildings shot out of the ground like underground missiles. I gazed up as the seemed to go on forever. Then the doors flung open and people, at least that was what I thought they were, came running out of the buildings screaming. They had no arms, ears, or eyes and their mouths were ridiculously disproportionately large to their heads. “Who are these schlomos?” I said to Franklin. “They are the serious people, unwilling to be changed of their ways by the truth, rhetoric and sarcasm of society.”
“Well why are they screaming?”
“Because they can still hear though their ears have been torn off.”
“Oh, well maybe they know why I’m here.”
“Excuse me!” I said as I grabbed one by the shoulder. The madness of the screaming stopped instantly. All of the disproportionate people were standing still. I swung the one I grabbed around. His eyes sockets began to fill and his eyes reformed, its arms grew back and he responded. “Yes?”
A mighty bolt of light struck the figure I held. He screamed in agony and twitched at my feet. His body exploded apart into thousands of pieces. Around me the lightning had affected several other beings who then screamed, twitched and exploded all the same. The remaining “people” ran back inside their buildings and they sunk back into the earth as fast as they rose.”
“What happened?”
“They heard you. They can no longer be serious if they hear what someone else has said.” “That’s bullshit.”
“No, that’s logical.”
“I’m serious and I don’t go ripping my parts off so I can remain that way!”
"You don't understand."
“No, that’s right I don’t understand.”
As I said that a book appeared before my eyes and stayed fixated there. I moved to look around it and it remained in front of my face. I tried walking away from it but it kept pace with me. Ben lifted his hands in encouragement to read it.
“I’m outta here” I said.
“Nope, you have to read it, there is no escape.” Franklin said.
“All this is doing is toying with me childishly. I want to know what’s going on but the questions are pointless and the answers are taunts.”
“That’s because not everything is what it seems. Look here…”
I grabbed the book and put it in my pocket and then turned to see three men standing in the center of an intersection. All of them were dressed as I was and staring into the sky. “Watch” said Franklin.
He approached and asked, “What’s the time?” One man looked at his watch. Another walked away into nothingness. The last looked at us puzzled until a snake crept from a hole in the asphalt on the ground before him. It leapt from the ground and slithered down the man’s throat without resistance. He fell to his knees. His eyes oozed from his face. He tore off his own ears and his mouth began to split along its edges. It grew to enormous size and he began gnawing at his shoulders in an attempt to remove his arms. “This is the foremost of your seriousness, what you would be like if you had retained all of the knowledge you already knew without having met anyone on earth.”
“K” I said.
“The first was your sensible side; he knows what time is and the proper etiquette to follow when he is asked for the time. He is the coalition between the rhetorical you and the serious you. He is similar to all beings.”
He continued, “The one that left was your rhetorical side, he went in search of thyme because he looks too deeply into the meaning of texts or it’s what he thought of first when I said time.”
“Alright…what was with the snake?”
“That was rhetoric itself. It forces its way into your mind and eats away at it.”
“You can accept it and live normally as both a serious and rhetorical person, accept it as all truth and fail to communicate or reject it and be forced to live in a nightmare world where you can not learn anything because you experience nothing.”
“I think I understand now” I said. “You need to understand how rhetoric works in order to determine how people understand you?”
“Correct” Franklin said. “So if you are a rhetorical person whom is also serious…”
“I can determine proper ways of communication to accomplish my tasks and all I need to do is understand this book” I said holding up the text that had appeared before me.
“Yes!”
“Great! Can I leave now?”
“Not yet, you need to wake up!”
“Oh ho ho, I’m dreaming!”
“No, those chips of metal in your Goldschlager were actually lead and not gold, you’re in a coma.”
_______________________________
He didn't like it, however most all the other students' pieces where just as wacky, so maybe I missed some of the underlying points.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Yes...Wait a Minute...No
My soul wants to laugh and cry all at the same time...
So horrible and so wrong it can only be described as sadistically funny.
So horrible and so wrong it can only be described as sadistically funny.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Best Video Game Cut-scene Ever
one of the best games ever really...
If you haven't played Psychonauts yet, you really need to hop on board the awesome train.
If you haven't played Psychonauts yet, you really need to hop on board the awesome train.
Monday, January 12, 2009
R.I.P. Mr. Steckler
I'm sorry to have just found out Ray Dennis Steckler had passed away on the seventh after a long bought with heart failure. He was a fine purveyor of some great B-listers.
I feel like watching The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies and/or Rat Pfink a Boo Boo... so I think I will.
Catch you all later.
I feel like watching The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies and/or Rat Pfink a Boo Boo... so I think I will.
Catch you all later.
B-Movie Fans
To celebrate the new year... I dropped the one word titles. It was getting old. I'm also looking forward to using this blog as an actual blog and not just siphoning YouTube videos and blogs from BoingBoing.
In the good news department...
I found that you can stream awesomely horrible movies on Fancast. Seeing how they are so terrible that no one wants to own the rights to them, you can feel free to watch them over and over without paying a dime. God bless America.
On top of that, Winamp Media Player features internet TV stations. Usually I enjoy some Futurama re-runs but I have found a nonstop MST3k marathon station on there too. I particularly enjoyed last Saturday night when they featured a gut-wrenching bad movie entitled Blasterman or Blaster Something. I couldn't find it on imdb (will give high praise for a link).
It was a story about a cop named "Tiger" who went to jail for killing his wife's murderer. Upon his release he bought a magic SPIAS 12 gauge shotgun with a scope that could fire any ordinance from scatter-shot to grenades. He decides not to kill the corrupt district attorney that imprisoned him and instead opts to drive out into no-where Pennsylvania and live in an abandoned cabin.
The locals give him shit for no reason and kill his baby orphaned dear. Rednecks give shit to everyone he knows...try to rape his daughter...accidentally kill a man...kill all the witnesses to cover it up...tons of new rednecks show up and volunteer to help the other rednecks hunt down and kill the cop and his daughter for beer...daughter gets killed during a proposed cease fire..."Tiger" goes berserk and starts killing rednecks...uses magic shotgun which he vowed never to use... they show a lot of similar car explosions...everyone goes to jail when the hero loads all the bodies into a pick-up and drives them to the sheriff's office.
The funniest thing about it was its filming in PA, but use of Italian staff and credits despite all the actors being American (they also dubbed over the English speaking actors for some reason).
I also caught EEEGAH!! which stars a very young (but still huge) Richard Keil. Yes...JAWS from James Bond. Keil plays a giant (or cave-man) that lives in the desert. Not much to this movie at all really. There's 45 minutes in which the leading lady and her father try keep the towering cave man's thoughts preoccupied so he didn't rape her...it was amusing on a subconscious level.
In the good news department...
I found that you can stream awesomely horrible movies on Fancast. Seeing how they are so terrible that no one wants to own the rights to them, you can feel free to watch them over and over without paying a dime. God bless America.
On top of that, Winamp Media Player features internet TV stations. Usually I enjoy some Futurama re-runs but I have found a nonstop MST3k marathon station on there too. I particularly enjoyed last Saturday night when they featured a gut-wrenching bad movie entitled Blasterman or Blaster Something. I couldn't find it on imdb (will give high praise for a link).
It was a story about a cop named "Tiger" who went to jail for killing his wife's murderer. Upon his release he bought a magic SPIAS 12 gauge shotgun with a scope that could fire any ordinance from scatter-shot to grenades. He decides not to kill the corrupt district attorney that imprisoned him and instead opts to drive out into no-where Pennsylvania and live in an abandoned cabin.
The locals give him shit for no reason and kill his baby orphaned dear. Rednecks give shit to everyone he knows...try to rape his daughter...accidentally kill a man...kill all the witnesses to cover it up...tons of new rednecks show up and volunteer to help the other rednecks hunt down and kill the cop and his daughter for beer...daughter gets killed during a proposed cease fire..."Tiger" goes berserk and starts killing rednecks...uses magic shotgun which he vowed never to use... they show a lot of similar car explosions...everyone goes to jail when the hero loads all the bodies into a pick-up and drives them to the sheriff's office.
The funniest thing about it was its filming in PA, but use of Italian staff and credits despite all the actors being American (they also dubbed over the English speaking actors for some reason).
I also caught EEEGAH!! which stars a very young (but still huge) Richard Keil. Yes...JAWS from James Bond. Keil plays a giant (or cave-man) that lives in the desert. Not much to this movie at all really. There's 45 minutes in which the leading lady and her father try keep the towering cave man's thoughts preoccupied so he didn't rape her...it was amusing on a subconscious level.
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